CHOICES
by KiwiKugai
Summary: A Srar Trek Tale set some years after Nemisis. There's a proper Summary in the Prologue. Chapter 4 now added!
1. Prologue

**CHOICES: A 'STAR TREK' UNIVERSE TALE**

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own 'Star Trek' (_don't I wish!!!_) 'Star Trek' and the 'Star Trek' Universe, in its many and varied TV, Movie, Comic and Book guises, is the property of Paramount, (along with it's plethora of characters, places and situations), and I'm just a poor fan with an idea for a story set in that Universe.

Ok, that's the Legal Stuff out the way.

**Prologue:**

This is set a few years after the events in 'Star Trek: Nemesis', and could be considered slightly AU in nature. It is basically a F/F Romance with a slight PG rating for the Adult nature of the situation.

The location is aboard the _USS Shenandoah_ NCC2346-C, a Nebula Class Federation Science Vessel with a mixed crew of Vulcan and Human scientists. She has a mixed crew of Starfleet and Vulcan and Human civilian scientists from The Vulcan Science Academy and The Daystrom Institute.

Our two 'Protagonists' are:

**T'Pel**, a Vulcan of some 23 years Standard. She is of mixed heritage, being ¼ Human on her father's side. She is of Surak's line and is distantly related to the family of Sarek.

She is a Linguist aboard the _'Shenandoah'_, and a Lieutenant in Starfleet. A fact that does not sit well with her conservative Vulcan family and she has, as a consequence, not spoken to them in over five Standard years. She is well disciplined, and an excellent Linguist, though the majority of the Humans, and a fair number of the Vulcans aboard consider her a little too standoffish at times.

**Tina Hanson**, a Human/Romulan half-caste of some 25 years Standard. Her mother is Captain Karen Hanson, Commanding Officer of the _'Shenandoah'_. Her mother had a brief marriage with a high ranking Romulan Official during a brief period of mutual détente between the Federation and the Romulan Empire, and Tina was the result. She lived for some 10 years with her father after the break-up of their marriage when she was 10, and was for a brief time an agent and assassin of the Tal'Shiar until her capture on mission some four years previous. Abandoned by the Romulan Govt., she spent eight months in a Federation Penal Colony before having a breakdown. She was released into the care of her mother just over one year ago.


	2. T'Pel

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own 'Star Trek' (_don't I wish!!!_) 'Star Trek' and the 'Star Trek' Universe, in its many and varied TV, Movie, Comic and Book guises, is the property of Paramount, (along with it's plethora of characters, places and situations), and I'm just a poor fan with an idea for a story set in that Universe.

Ok, that's the Legal Stuff out the way.

**T'Pel**

She sat cross-legged on the floor of her room. A single candle burned on the table in front of her as she meditated, as she tried to decide. The comfort she sought from this, her daily ritual, would not come as the words in the note to her echoed through her mind.

_I make no claim on you T'Pel; it is not my place to do so. _You_ must decide! I cannot force you in this; I _will_ not force you in this! I consider you my friend – odd isn't it? I know you have your qualms about such things T'Pel, I know that such as us is something that is not spoken of, but I love you! There, I said it! Odd how difficult such things are to say is it not? Such simple words aren't they, but so difficult to say, to write. I know I can't pretend that I'm making things easy by being so open about this, but I cannot hide how I feel any longer, nor do I _wish_ too. Too much of my life has been secrets and lies, and I'm oh so tired of it! I think I'm right in how you feel about me, I got good at reading people, even Vulcans, in my past life, but I also know the difficulties, especially for one such as yourself. I leave the choice to you T'Pel, whatever you decide I will live by – no matter how hard it may be. I am your _friend_, odd as that may be to both of us, and no matter what, no matter how difficult it may be, I shall _always_ be so!_

_Tina._

She sat trying to sort her thoughts, her emotions – yes, she could admit to herself that, despite the training she had received, she had them – about this matter out. So much of what the note said was true, she could not deny it any longer, and in all honesty with herself, she began to question the wisdom of denying it to herself any longer. So much of her life had been spent living up to the high ideals set for her by her family, yet she had, in her own way, rebelled had she not? – Joining Starfleet had not exactly been high on the list of career choices her father had wanted for her, she remembered _that_ exchange all too well!

"You have done what?"

"I have joined Starfleet father"

"This is not what we discussed when you made your choice to be a Linguist known to me. I have made enquiries with the Science Academy on your behalf so that you may join the Linguistics Department there where your skills may be usefully employed."

"And I am most grateful for your efforts father. I wish however, to expand my abilities to other languages, and after considering the varying options available to me, I believe that Starfleet offers me the best opportunity to do so"

"The Science Academy……"

"Forgive me my father, but the Science Academy, while having an excellent programme, will not afford me the travel and study of my chosen field that Starfleet will. As you know doubt are aware, I will not be able to gain a placement aboard one of the Academy's Science Vessels until I have served at least a three year tenure at the Academy, while Starfleet will offer me the opportunity, especially with one such as my credentials, to be able to further my abilities and career much sooner"

"Perhaps, but there is also the matter of your betrothal"

"I hardly see how that interferes with my career choice father. Seren and I will have no difficulties in this since Starfleet is aware of the implications and imperatives of _pon farr_"

"Perhaps my daughter, but one of our family in Starfleet…."

She had raised an eyebrow at that.

"Such is not unheard of father, may I remind you of the most well known of our family line?"

"Be that as it may daughter, this is not a career choice I wish you to make. I must therefore ask you to withdraw your application to Starfleet."

She did not understand what motivated her to do what she did next, but for the first time in her life, she defied her father's wishes!

"My choice is made father."

It startled him as much as it did her when those words came out. He raised an eyebrow.

"This is not what I wish for a daughter of this House."

"Nonetheless father, it is what I have chosen."

"My daughter, please do not defy me in this. I once again request you withdraw your application."

"My father, as much as I honour and respect you, I cannot do as you ask."

He had drawn himself up then, looking every inch the Vulcan Patriarch of antiquity.

"T'Pel my daughter, if you defy me in this, then you will no longer be welcome in this house, and I regret to inform you that you and I will no longer be on speaking terms."

She had regarded her father with no small measure of surprise at that.

"Then regretfully Suran my father, I must take my leave of you and my home, for I will not withdraw my application."

She had not seen or spoken to him or anyone in her family for over five years since then. As for herself and Seren, his death in, of all things, a mundane Aircar accident had severed her ties with that part of her life permanently.

She had appreciated Seren. In those few times they had been together in the years since their betrothal, she had found him an interesting intellect, one on a par with her own. He had garnered a career for himself in the Diplomatic Service, and until his untimely and unfortunate death, had been considered one of the services finest young aides.

Yet, always there had been in the back of her mind the small voice that had told her that she held no true feeling for Seren, of for that matter, _any_ male! She had wrestled with this since she had become aware of her liking for her own gender at a very early age. She had not acted on this……. _feeling_, and a few discrete enquiries with her Master had made it clear to her that, while such things existed in Vulcan society, such matters were considered to be covered by the Rules of Privacy, that unwritten code of conduct that had governed Vulcan society since even before the days of Surak!

Yet there it was, and there _she_ was. Somehow, from that first day she had known that Tina Hanson was different; somehow she had been drawn to the half-Human half Romulan woman in a way that, at first, had made both of them wary of each other. Yet somehow friendship had, against all expectations, grown up between them. Friendship and a mutual respect that had, somehow in the intervening 18 months, grown into something more!

T'Pel did not understand this any more that she now knew Tina did, only that it was there.

She had tried to deny it of course. Logically she had assumed she was reading more into both their friendship than was there. – And yet…………

There was the note.

She sat meditating. Trying to decide.

"Be truthful with thyself" her Master had said to her one day in answer to a question. "For how can thee know truth from others if you yourself are unable to be truthful with thyself?"

'How indeed' she thought to herself. 'Am _I _being truthful with myself?' She sat contemplating that question for over two hours.

T'Pel then blew out the candle, rose, and left her Quarters. She had her answer


	3. Tina

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own 'Star Trek' (_don't I wish!!!_) 'Star Trek' and the 'Star Trek' Universe, in its many and varied TV, Movie, Comic and Book guises, is the property of Paramount, (along with it's plethora of characters, places and situations), and I'm just a poor fan with an idea for a story set in that Universe

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**Tina**

She was alone. She sat in the dark on the wide sill before the windows of her room in the Quarters she shared with her mother staring out at the stars.

'Whatever possessed you to write that foolish note!'

A question she had been asking herself on and off for close to an hour since she sent the thing via the Ship Intramail System. Too late for regrets now though. Too late to back out, to recall it. She knew T'Pel's schedule almost as well as T'Pel now, and she had timed sending it to when she knew T'Pel would be back in her Quarters, preparing to meditate as she always did at this time of the evening.

'I am such an idiot'

But was she?

She had never understood how she and the stoic Vulcan Linguist had become friends, perhaps T'Pel did, but she doubted that. She contemplated how her life had come to this. How her mother and her father had, at one time, been in love with each other enough to even contemplate marriage. She often wondered about the storm _that_ had created, a young Starfleet Lieutenant and her tall, handsome _Romulan_ Diplomat lover/fiancé/husband! Granted, since the Shinzon Incident some years previous, and the alliance during The Dominion War before that, relations between the Empire and Federation had undergone a thawing of sorts, there was still enough suspicion on both sides to make such a thing headline news!

And how that had all gone sour when she was but barely 10, how her father had managed to keep her, raise her, make her an assassin and agent for the dreaded Tal'Shiar, Romulus' secret police. For almost all of her adult life she had given her loyalty to the Empire, doing what they, and her now embittered father wanted her to do. _Anything_ to please him, _anything_ to make him respect her, all in vain she now so sadly knew. Abandoned by both the Empire and her father when she had been caught trying to sneak into a Federation installation on Deneva. Sent to a penal colony, she had held herself together for eight months before it had all finally became too much and she had broken down.

Her mother had saved her sanity.

How ironic!

The one woman she had grown up learning to hate had been the one person who had saved her from becoming a complete basket case!

Her father had lied.

But then, hadn't she always, really, known that?!

'Of course you did!' she admitted to herself. In some ways, she understood her fathers bitterness, but having come to know her mother in a way she thought she never would, she sometimes wondered why he became such. Though her mother never said, she knew that deep down, her mother still loved her father. No, she corrected herself, she loves the man he _was_, not the man he had become. It had been so hard to tell her about the man she had served so loyally for over a decade, trying to reconcile him with the man her mother had told her of. It was almost as if they were talking about two different people!

Somehow, somewhere along the line she and her mother had come to understand each other in the last 18 months. It was a cautious, wary understanding. They still had their problems, their differences, their arguments, but they were slowly beginning to build something like a normal relationship.

Being here with her on the _'Shenandoah'_ had helped, and much to her surprise, her skills so finely honed as an assassin and spy had made her a valuable asset, hell! Security Chief Thorn had even roped her in to help train his security officers!

Then there was T'Pel.

Her mother understood. Not about T'Pel, not about her feelings for her for that was something she had yet to divulge to her, but she understood about Tina's sexuality. Tina had not hidden that, had no desire to. It was a part of who she was, and telling her mother had just been as natural to her as telling her anything else now, now that she and her mother had come to understand each other more.

She'd had had lovers, nothing lasting, nothing beyond the mutual need of two women for the comfort of each other. It could not have been any other way, not in her profession, not with the life she had led! And to be perfectly honest with herself, she had used her preference on several occasions on infiltration assignments. Only now, as she had slowly allowed herself to _feel_ again did she regret the way she had used and discarded some of those women.

T'Pel

_How_ had the Vulcan Linguist done this to her?! How was she different?

'Because she listens'

'Because she is your friend'

'Because she _is!_'

So strange, so nonsensical, yet so right!

T'Pel had become something of a keystone for her. The Linguist had, she quite understood, been wary of her. Yet somehow, to both their surprise, (not that she expected a Vulcan to admit to surprise), they had seemed to be drawn to each other. At first, she had been somewhat a Moth to T'Pel's flame, yet as time passed, something had grown between them. First, a mutual respect, then friendship, then…………

Had she been wrong? Had she misread those odd looks T'Pel had given her in those moments when she thought Tina wasn't looking at her?

For herself, she knew that this was different, that this was something she had never thought she would _ever_ feel for another woman, let alone a Vulcan!

How ironic!

The one woman she had fallen in love with hard was the member of a race that went out of its way to suppress, even reject such emotionalism! Somehow, someone out there had an odd sense of humour!

And yet…………..

She sighed.

At best, T'Pel would make it clear that what she felt was not returned, at worst – she may have just lost the only true friend she had on this ship. But she had to do it! She had to tell her, to be honest with her! Somehow she had felt she could not, _would_ not lie to her friend, no matter what came of it, she had done the right thing!

At least, that's what she kept telling herself as she waited worried, scared, elated, depressed for T'Pel's answer.

The Annunciator for the door went off.


	4. Tina & T'Pel

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own 'Star Trek' (_don't I wish!!!_) 'Star Trek' and the 'Star Trek' Universe, in its many and varied TV, Movie, Comic and Book guises, is the property of Paramount, (along with it's plethora of characters, places and situations), and I'm just a poor fan with an idea for a story set in that Universe

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.** T'Pel and Tina**

T'Pel, dressed simply, sat down on the couch Tina had indicated after entering the Cabin. She regarded Tina, who was dressed in black trousers and a tight sports top. She could read the Humans nervousness.

"Tea or water?" At least she remembered her manners.

"Tea please." T'Pel almost smiled as Tina got the Tea from the Replicator. She set the two cups down then sat opposite her.

Gods! She was so nervous! Could T'Pel see that? She hoped not.

"Your note was ……… intriguing, to say the least" T'Pel began.

Tina lowered her head, letting her hair hide her face. "If I have embarrassed you, it was not my intention."

'Does she realise how much of an attractive affectation that habit was?' thought T'Pel with some amusement and a small measure of surprise.

"You did not embarrass me Tina; it was a surprise I had not expected from you more than anything else."

Tina raised her head, managing to keep herself under control. "I wished to be honest with you T'Pel, I consider you my friend. I have had very few friends in my life, what I did for the Empire precluded me from having such and since I have been here, ….. Well, I had to have _one_ friend I could be honest with!"

"And you chose me?" T'Pel raised an eyebrow as Tina finally nodded assent. "Perhaps you do not choose wisely." Tina went still.

'Why am I doing this to her?' T'Pel thought to herself. 'Because I wish her to be honest with _herself'_' was the answer.

"Was I wrong about her?' Tina asked herself. After a moment the answer came. 'No, I was not, but why is she doing this? To test me?'

"I do not think so T'Pel. I think I have chosen my friend wisely." Was that a ghost of a smile she saw?

"Perhaps." T'Pel continued, "But perhaps you are also reading something into our friendship that is not there. Perhaps you see that which you wish to see?"

Tina shrugged. "Perhaps. But I wanted to be honest with you T'Pel. I owe you that!"

T'Pel raised an inquiring eyebrow.

"You are my friend. I know how odd, how unlikely that sounds, especially with my background, but there it is! You and I, I feel, have come to understand each other, to _be_ friends, despite our differences. I have had …. few friends. My previous life precluded such. It is difficult for me to be open, yet somehow, I feel I _can_ be round you."

T'Pel felt a stirring of emotions within her. This Human trusted her! In a way she had not thought possible, Tina had such trust in her that she was willing to drop her barriers and let her in, in a way she doubted even her mother had been. 'Do you know how much this honours me Tina? Do you know how much _more_ this makes me … love you?'

"I am honoured you think you can be such around me Tina. And yes, I am aware of the difficulties your past life would have presented to you. I can even go as so far as to say that I am greatly honoured to be your friend and auditor, but perhaps you are seeing more than there is there."

Tina stared at T'Pel for a long moment. 'Is she right? Was I seeing more than was there, _wanting_ more than was there?' She let her mind drift, replaying all those moments she and T'Pel had been together, all that she had said – and done – in the intervening months. 'No' she said to herself finally, 'I _cannot_ be wrong, I've _know_ I've read her right!'

'Perhaps" she said. "But perhaps not." She rose and moved to sit on the same couch as T'Pel. "I have been most cautious in this T'Pel. I would not have written that note to you unless I was sure of such."

T'Pel's eyes became hooded. The closeness of her was beginning to affect her as it had begun to over the last three or four months. "What you ask is …. Difficult."

'There! I did _not_ mistake that!'

'Control, control. You _must_ be sure of this!'

"But not impossible?" Tina said softly.

"Such is not unheard of in Vulcan society Tina. We do not speak of it as such matters are considered to be the preserve of those who choose to live such a life."

"The oh so famous Rules of Privacy?"

T'Pel raised an eyebrow and nodded. Somehow it did not surprise her that she would know of that.

"What is it that _you_ fear T'Pel?"

'A good question my more than worthy'

'Aha! She _is_ worried! And I think I know why!'

"Do you fear how the other Vulcans aboard this ship will react, or the Humans?"

'Am I that readable to her? Fascinating!'

"Perhaps."

"Fuck 'em!' she said, dredging up the ancient Terran epithet from her mind, T'Pel managed to contain the majority of her surprise. "What they think cannot, _should not_ matter T'Pel! If they are unwilling or unable to accept _us_, then the flaw is their's, not ours!" Tina leaned forward. "_Do_ you want me T'Pel?"

"Yes!" She said huskily after a moment.

"Then why do you hesitate?"

'Why indeed'

'_Kiss_ me you damned idjit Vulcan!'

T'Pel hesitated no longer, she leaned towards Tina, and as she felt the Human woman's hands move up her back, as her mouth met Tina's, as she heard the soft moan of surprise and delight from her, she completely abandoned herself to the moment


	5. Afterglow & Discovery

**Afterglow**

The quiet of the room was broken only by the soft, barely audible breathing of the two figures who now lay entwined on the bed. One of those figures now stirred and slowly opened her eyes.

Tina stared for a long moment at the Vulcan woman who now lay with her head on Tina's arm, one arm loosely wrapped around her midriff, the other draped down her thigh. She herself had one arm around T'Pel's shoulders, and her other resting in the small of her back. One of T'Pel's legs rested between hers. Tina watched the sleeping T'Pel for several silent moments, enjoying the natural warmth of T'Pel's greater Vulcan body heat. It amazed her that, relaxed in sleep, T'Pel looked somewhat childlike. She wondered if she herself looked that way, then she gave an amused smile as she speculated on how T'Pel might react if she were to tell her that. She was able, with a barely perceptible movement, to look at the chrono next to her bed. It read 06:45 and she smiled as she realised that both of them had managed to get _some_ sleep this night! She shivered as she remembered the previous few hours as she and T'Pel, who proved to be nervous but eager and willing to learn from a woman who was far more experienced than she was. She had had to moderate herself, as she knew herself to be somewhat aggressive in bed once she was aroused, but she also knew that this was no Human, but a Vulcan whose natural strength was on a par with her own. Nevertheless, she had no desire to make what she quickly realised was T'Pel's first time memorable for all the _wrong_ reasons! T'Pel _had_ been a quick learner though, and as the night passed, both of them had come to know each other _very_ intimately.

She shivered again and smiled – T'Pel stirred and opened her eyes.

"Thou" T'Pel said after a moment of quiet contemplation of the figure she lay entwined with.

"Thou" she said back, with a catch in her voice that matched the emotion she sensed from her Vulcan lover. She saw the smile on T'Pel's face, and tightened her arms around her. She buried her face in T'Pel's shoulder and sighed as she felt T'Pel's arms tighten around her.

After a moment, she pulled back a bit, and then gave T'Pel an odd smile. "Do you know what you have done to me?"

T'Pel smiled back, something that Tina had rarely seen her do. "I have some ….. understanding of the nature of your problem!" Tina blinked, then let out a low chuckle.

"You making sly jokes! The others would be shocked!!" T'Pel merely smiled.

"Undoubtedly, considering my reputation among my fellow Vulcans, and the majority of the Humans aboard the _'Shenandoah'_ "

"_THAT_ will change once it becomes clear of how things are between us!" She saw the look on T'Pel's face as that thought penetrated T'Pel's mind. She was silent for a moment before continuing. "T'Pel, if you wish, I will……." T'Pel stopped her by placing three fingers over her mouth.

"Forgive me Tina. I was merely unprepared for that thought." She closed her eyes for a moment before continuing. "I have no desire to hide what is between us, Tina, it is just that I can foresee the … difficulties ahead of us."

Tina nodded. "It's not as if I hadn't thought of that myself, even before I sent you that note." She shrugged, "Natural ability I have I guess considering my previous profession!"

"Indeed!"

She gave T'Pel a sad smile. "Sorry love, but there's no hiding what I was! And I have no wish to, _especially_ from you!! I told you I was tired of hiding from what I was, what it made me. You _deserve_ the truth from me T'Pel. You have given me a wonderful gift – Yourself." She gently ran the back of her hand down T'Pel's cheek, "I have rarely been honest with anyone. My mother and you are the only two people I have ever been truly honest with in my entire life. I have no desire to lie to you T'Pel, that is no way for me to begin with you, you who despite my best efforts, have become _very_ special to me!"

T'Pel stared at her for several moments, absorbing the import of Tina's words. Unable to find the words to express her own feelings, feelings this fascinating, unusual Human had stirred in her, she simply pulled Tina closer to her in a tight Bearhug that was the only expression she could come up with at that moment.

**Karen**

She was tired. Pulling 'All-Nighters' was something she had thought, as a captain, she would not have to do, but her workload as captain of a science vessel seemed to make a mockery of that assumption. 'Why is it,' she thought as she leaned on the wall of the turbolift 'That every six months Starfleet manages to come up with more and more paperwork, Report requests, and Personnel Reviews than the _last _six months!' An exaggeration of course, she realised. But every time she had to do an all night 'Paperfest', it seemed that the pile got taller and taller!

The Lift deposited her near the Quarters she shared with Tina, and she sighed as she staggered towards that sanctuary. The only thing she wanted to do now was to simply collapse on her bed and get some sleep before some nacient emergency pulled her out of it! She knew her First Officer, and knew the man would follow her instructions and at least _try_ to give her the four hours she had told him not to disturb her in unless it was urgent! She smiled as she remembered the message she had left him.

"Paul, unless the Borg are invading, or we're surrounded by a half dozen Romulan Warbirds, if you disturb me within the next four hours, I will _personally_ see to it that you spend the next three years as two-eye-see on a Starfleet garbage scow!" Starfleet, of course, had no such Vessels, but Paul would get the point. It was amazing how easy a relationship she had with him. Paul was respectful when on duty, and both were capable of maintaining discipline aboard the _'Shenandoah'_ , but they understood each other enough to be able to talk easily and openly to each other while maintaining the Captain/First Officer relationship that was necessary to shipboard discipline.

As she entered her Quarters, she stopped. The lights were still on, but there was no sign of Tina. Two cups sat on the table. She walked over and sniffed the contents – Tea! She was puzzled. She turned towards the door of her daughter's room as a slight suspicion entered her mind, wondering just who Tina had managed to 'Conquest' with, of all things, Tea and nearly tripped over the pile of clothing that lay on the floor at the end of the couch. Cursing, she picked them up and froze. The top and pants she instantly recognised as Tina's, but the other outfit – The other outfit was one she had seen only one other person wearing!

'No! I'm imagining things!' she thought. 'It _couldn't _be!' Shakily, and feeling somewhat guilty for it, she managed to find the ID of the outfits owner and, for a brief moment, stood there trying to wrap her mind around the concept! How had she missed this! She had been aware of the friendship between the two of them, but _this!_ This was something that had passed completely over her head.

'How is this possible?! I mean, I'm sure that, despite the extreme privacy that Vulcans maintain around such matters, such relationships must exist in Vulcan society. But T'Pel!' She knew that there was a friendship that had grown between the Vulcan Linguist and her daughter, something that had amused and surprised her considering just how different the two of them were. T'Pel had always struck her as the model of Vulcan properness those times she had interacted with her after her daughter had, somehow, managed to create a friendship between them. Hell, considering how her daughter reacted those few times she had seen her daughter make a 'Conquest', she wondered how her daughter………

She blinked. It was strange now that she thought about it. Casting her mind back, she began to realise that Tina had not actively sought or made a 'Conquest' (as Tina wryly called it) in over eight months! Could it be……?

At that particular moment, the door to Tina's room slip open, and there was one of those frozen moments as T'Pel, completely naked, jerked to a halt in the doorway


End file.
